Letting go of old habits with a smile

I am down at 108,9kg (240 lb) this morning after a just perfect weekend.

Yay!

 

And Thank You all the people that are reading me already!

This is amazing!

 

 

 

Today my main theme is to start the new week joyfully... so after my "Wake up Call"

(Wake Up Call - Phil Collins/Genesis)

 

 

 

I started thinking what made me get into bad eating habits - or, well, bad LIVING habits, to put it short - and how to get rid of them in a joyful manner...

 

 

 

For me personally, it always had to do with men. :P Call me a slut.

 

I was emotionally abused as a young teen and I escaped with a lot of cream puddings, one after the other.
While I had something in my mouth he couldn't kiss me, right?

 

 

I eventually found some happiness later ( <3 and pure bliss with some <3 ), but for some reason, the problem kept getting back and back.

 

 

I ate - or not ate - to please men.

Which was a completely odd way of behaving, if you come to think of it.

 

 

 

Then I got to know G.

He seemed to be the perfect guy - overly romantic (still a virgin) and rational, down-to-earth at the same time.

AND HE WANTED ME. Me!!!! The Fat Girl!!!!

I flew into his arms.

 

 

 

Wrong decision.

He brought me down, emotionally, financially, spiritually.

I don't say it's his fault - he didn't know better.

But I stopped wanting him very soon and I never truly loved him.

 

 

But I was stuck in place. And felt miserable.

And I spent my days in front of the TV, every day.

My meal table was:

Spaghetti with tomato sauce - midday

Rice with something - evening

EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY.

 

 

 

Can you believe I was NOT happy?

But there are some people who don't want to notice.

Even yourself.

 

 

But here goes.

I want to be happy.

 

And G, even if I am not at all mad at you, this is my goodbye - to you, to that way of living.

(The Corrs - I NEVER LOVED YOU ANYWAY)

 

 

 

 

And staying with The Corrs,

do you want to be happy?

 

Would you be happier?

 

 

 

I KNOW I WILL...