Surviving Christmas...

 

 

Hello butterflies!

 

 

 

 

 

This Christmas has been very good for me.

 

I've celebrated Christmas Eve alone,

with a vegan "canard" (Vegourmet Corn Steak di Fumo)

and vegan mayonnaise salad...

 

 

On Christmas day I went to have a Christmas meal with all my family,

and then a (somewhat boring) extended family come-together

- but the cake and cookies were fine ;)

 

 

 

I'm on holidays until 7th of January

and just enjoying life...

 

 

 

and on 9th I will FINALLY have my tattoos!

So excited!!!

 

 

 

---------------------------------------

 

These days I am doing my best

to eat my 2.000 calories a day

(which is a lot, if you come to think of it)

 

and do some proper exercise

(mostly yoga and walking,

haven't found to the fitness center yet)

 

am relaxing a lot

 

and enjoying time with my friends.

 

-----------------------------------------

 

 

Life is good...

 

 

 

 

 

 

See you butterflies



Progress so far: 1%... :'(

 

 

 

Hello my dear butterflies!

 

 

 

Sorry for not writing for so long.

My motivation was rather low...

 

 

... as my mood swings back into slight depressions,

my weight goes up again... and up... and even more up.

 

 

Result:

I'm back on the weight with which I started this year in January...

:'(

 

Not so good!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Progress this year: 1%...

 

 

But I would like to believe that this 1% exists,

and even is SUBSTANTIAL.

 

The beginning is made...

the first steps are taken...

 

Let me tell you what this 1% really means for me:

 

I've bought that yoga video and I know the right movements

(now only to establish a proper exercise routine),

I got myself a Wii Sports Plus and Balance Board

(only got to play funny sporty stuff on it),

I got that wonderful smoothie maker, aaaand received a great recipe book for smoothies

(just need to make more of them - they are awesome),

I found the fitness center and signed a contract

(which is pretty much money out of the window as long as I keep my fat ass at home)

...

 

I got into personalized counseling for food addicts

(which unraveled that I have huge emotional issues that have little or nothing,

or everything, to do with food...),

and also the obesity self-help group

(with amazing people that just like that, broke down the walls of my self-imposed isolation)

...

 

I participated in a women's run for breast cancer

(although I did it WALKING, I'm still proud I went),

and watched my sweetheart run a half marathon

(hey, at least I was there! ;) I promised to one day do the quarter)

...

 

I had a lot of great, even vegan, food

...

 

I learned and tried new recipes and new kinds of food

...

 

I found out my friends love to go walking with me

...

 

I came across great motivational music to "pump me up with good vibes"

...

 

I've started this blog

...

 

I found YOU, butterflies

...

 

 

 

so this 1% is quite a chunk!!!

 

 

 

Now let's maintain that 1% progress for the remaining few days of 2014,

and in 2015,

go for those other 99%!!!

 

 

Because we can!

 



Too busy...

 

 

 

Until the new year

I will not be writing much.

I am too busy...

 

but I will try to make an update on the weekend!

 

 

See you!

Consolidation days... 2 (and I'm sick)

 

 

 

Consolidation days until 30th.

 

 

Hope to be well again until then,

I've caught an intestinal virus

and have the hell of diarrhea here...

 

... at last I'm forced to eat stuff my stomach would accept.

Ha ha.

Very funny, universe.

:D

 

 

Be back on Sunday with a new challenge.



The "Give a smile" week

 

 

This week,

 

we are going to try to give a smile to everything

and everyone.

 

 

Including oneself in the mirror.

 

No judgements...

just smile.

 

 

 

Reports:

 

 Day 1: trying to smile
Alice... you're an angel.
Always trying to get me to smile at myself,
even if I'm feeling like shit.

Day 2: smile?
Okay, so I started with a lot of good intentions...
and then screwed up the day.
But still... smile... and try again.

Day 3: smiling at the world
A splendid Saturday.
How could I not be happy?
Having a soy latte and smiling at the world.

Day 4: relaxed Sunday
It's easy to be happy on a sunny Sunday.

Day 5: back to work with a smile
Day went very well.

Day 6: smilingly accepting
Smile through the difficulties...
it's all good.

Day 7: fallen sick
A bit a hard to smile today...
I've caught an intestinal virus and am home
having the shitties :D


But "give a smile week" was great.


Eight challenge:

SUCCESS

 



The "Tea Time" week

 

 

 

Stress Management

week ahead...

 

 

... gonna take it slow.

 

 

 

What about some fine tea?

 

 

 

 

"Tea Time"

week

it is!

 

 

 

 

 

Reports:

 

 

Day 1: fruity

Had a fruity tea while at Alice's.

Calm.

Rest of the day went bad,

but I remember the morning - with tea - was good.

 

Day 2: green tea to go

Bought a liter of iced green tea,

to drink on the go.

Delicious.

 

Day 3: more green tea

Had about half a liter of green tea on the go.

And a lot of cocktails in the evening, that were not tea.

It's Saturday, and I was out with friends.

Bad moment for ordering tea ;)

 

Day 4: stress-free Sunday

Had the resting half liter of green tea from yesterday.

And a wonderful "wellness detox" tea

in the afternoon/evening (tea time hour).

Amazing how rested and calm that left me feeling.

 

Day 5: relaxing herbal

Had a nice relaxing herbal tea

during our obesity group.

 

Day 6: fruity and green tea

Had some green tea and a good fruity.

 

Day 7: herbal fruity

Made a huuuge cupful of mixed herbal and peach.

 

 

Tea is good...

but I hate waiting :)

I guess I'll stick with the iced green tea...

or maybe I should just learn some patience.



The "Happy Dance" week

 

 

"Happy Dance"

week

 

 

starting...

 

 

 

 

Reports:

 

 

Day 1: trying to be happy

I'm not happy enough today to

do a true "happy dance".

But... I'm getting there!!!

 

 

Day 2: walk 'n' dance

Did some wajogking

and danced a little Zumba.

Not much,

but a little bit is better than nothing.

 

Day 3: be happy - and express it

(Sigma feat. Paloma Faith - "Changing")

 

Danced several minutes (hours maybe with pauses)

to Saturday Night radio mix.

Had a lot a fun.

 

Day 4: I can't dance

(Genesis - "I can't dance")

 

But still I do.

"The only thing about me is the way that I walk..."

... did a lot of walking, too.

Sunday - walking day.

 

 

Day 5: workout!

Went to fitness center.

Wanted to go to Zumba dancing class,

but they changed the hours...

so I had an intense "problem zone" workout instead.

Not bad either.

I think I am sore.

 

Day 6: Dance through life

A rather normal day, without much dancing...

but I listen to my music,

and I move a little.

Should be enough

(especially after yesterday's workout).

 

Day 7: meh

I'm working.

Not too much time for dancing.

Actually, I'm tired as hell.

 

 

 

 

Sixth challenge...

 

only half a success



Clearing up space for the good stuff

 

 

 

A co-worker

offered me to do a

"car-boot-sale"

with her.

 

 

 

Reminded me of clearing up space

in my home

and everywhere

to start inviting new, good things in.

 

 

Maybe also time to delete some old posts

that are not necessary anymore.

 

 

Tell me your opinion, please.

 

 

For the moment, I'll leave everything as it is. 

The "Cold Turkey" week

 

 

 

 

 

Here we go again!

 

Next challenge?

 

 

 

Ha, now we're gonna start for good...

in the FOOD area.

 

 

 

Let us have a

COLD TURKEY

week...

 

 

 

... and no, I'm not talking about eating cold turkey

(although you could do if you're not addicted to it...)

 

 

 

We're going to

let go of all addictive substances this week.

 

 

 

Whatever it is you behave addictively around.

You'll know best what items these are for you,

so I'm not going to spend a long time talking about mine...

 

 

 

(For me, it would be:

chocolate, sugary treats, wasabi peanuts, and crisps.)

 

 

 

Try to find

not only

"substitute drugs"

(like fruit when you crave sugar),

but really

STAND THE PAIN.

 

 

 

We're gonna stand through this.

 

 

 

 

Reports:

 

Day 1: I'm gonna do it

 Went surprisingly well.
No insane cravings,
just usual hunger
(can be fed with healthy food).

Day 2: Halloween
Harsh to do "Cold Turkey"
on Halloween.
Also, I noticed that
I haven't listed ALL my
"addictions".
There are more,
and one addiction comes
linked to the other.


Day 3: You don't need all of this
Sweetheart's opinion on my perfume and jewellery collection:
"You don't need all of this. You're a gemstone yourself."

 

 It's wonderfully sunny and warm today,
so I'll just do some cleaning
and then RELAX...

 

Later that day.

 

Have been with friends.

One of them gave me some chocolate as a present.

But NO.

I'm not having it.

Not now.

It's not what I crave now.

(Lady Antebellum - "Need you now")

 

Went for a long walk.
Saw peaceful nature.

 Calm... serenity.


Day 4: probed and tested
Talk about the universe
throwing challenges our way
when we decide to tackle them.
My smartphone has issues.
Needs service.
Do I need service, too?
Maybe, church service?

 

God grant me serenity...

 

 

 

 

Day 5: intensive care

What the power of community

- and communion -

can do.

Even if it's just a walk through nature

with close friends.

 

 

 Day 6: hard work

I'm starting to have withdrawal symptoms.

I don't know if I can bear the stress.

At the moment,

I have a lot of Eustress,

but I don't know the "break point"

where it turns into DIS-Stress

and I just can't take it anymore.

 

I need rest.

Rest and calm.

 

 

 

 Day 7: Keep only what is good

Or, to say it translated from a popular German saying:

 

 

"Is it art,

or can it be gone?"

 

 

Cold Turkey week over...

ready for a little

Happy Dance?

 

(Roxette - "Milk and Toast and Honey")

 

 

 

Fifth challenge:

 

SUCCESS

 

 



All work and no play make a fat boy

 

 

Hello friends!

 

 

 

Yesterday morning,

as I was walking on my Wajogking path,

a group of Kindergarten kids with their care-persons

passed me by.

 

 

They were running,

playing,

chasing each other,

bouncing joyfully beneath the trees,

playing with all their bodies.

 

 

 

(Exemplary photo)

 

 

 

We should learn that from kids.

 

 

Healthy kids

INHABIT

their body,

naturally.

 

And play with it,

with all their heart and soul...

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the evening,

I played my favorite videogame...

 

to relax...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now only to transfer that to real-life!!!

 



Consolidation days... 1

 

 

 

I'm taking

28th

and 29th

as

 "consolidation days"

 

to make the changes

during the last four challenges

more permanent.

 

 

 

Remember...

rest...

 

 

New challenge starting on 30th.

 

Prepare.






October outcome:


Weight: 111,8kg (-5,2kg since the max) - 11 lb lost

Body fat: 51,9% (-0,7%)
Body water: 25,6% (+0,4%)



Measures (since 13.10.2014):

Waist: 120cm (-1,5cm)
Hips: 129cm (same)
Thighs: 72cm (-1cm)
Calfs: 45cm (-0,5cm)
Breast: 116,5cm (-1,5cm)
Biceps: 40cm (-2cm)
Fatass: 130,5cm (-1,5cm)


Happy...



Know your wounds

 

 

Hello friends!

 

 

 

 

In her book

"Écoute et mange - Stop au contrôle!"

Lise Bourbeau

says that we overeat because we are suffering

from an emotional wound.

 

 

She identified five wounds:

• the wound of denial

• the wound of abandonment

• the wound of humiliation

• the wound of betrayal

• the wound of injustice

 

 

We all get wounded,

once and again,

in life...

 

 

 

But, little by little,

we learn.

We learn to live with our wounds.

 

 

And we heal.

We heal each other.

 

 

(Alanis Morissette - "You learn")



The "Loving touches" week

 

 

 

Sorry,

late update...

 

 

 

The fourth element of the Ornish program is

Love and Support.

 

 

I have lots of support,

but I sometimes lack self-love.

 

 

So after

the "an apple a day" week,

the "get going" week,

and the "shut off" week,

this week (I am counting Tuesday to Tuesday)

will be all about

"loving touches".

 

 

 

The first thing I did was

buy a nice rose oil.

 

 

I will apply that to my massive body every day,

trying to do it as lovingly as I can.

 

Forgive this body what I think it has done to me,

and in reality I did to it!

 

 

Massaging rose oil into my body is a way of

making a truce with myself.

 

 

I will also try this week to make as much loving contact with other people as possible

- especially my mum with whom I have a rather troubled relationship.

 

 

 

 

Reports:

 

 

Day 1: smell of roses

Mmm, rose oil.

Smells so good.

Does my obese body even deserve such a treat?

Feels wonderful.

Leaves my skin so smooth.

 

Day 2: no love

I overate today.

And I forgot about the rose oil.

Or maybe,

my subconscious wouldn't allow myself rose oil

after misbehaving so bad.

 

Day 3: apologize

I'm a bit better.

Returning to rose oil anointment.

Feeling like a queen,

smelling of roses.

 

Day 4: having fun means loving oneself

I had planned to

"Go Xtreme" today,

with a big bubble bath

and face mask

and all that comes with it.

But actually,

I don't want to take time for that today.

What I want is to have a quick shower

and then go play my videogame.

So I shower, apply rose oil - mmm - ,

and GO PLAY.

 

Day 5: treating myself well

Woke up earlier than the alarm today.

(It's Saturday, and I've been on morning shift this week.

Talk about the inner clock.)

Wrote blog entries.

Looked forward to the daily loving treat to myself.
Went to my parent's home.
Applied rose oil to my "tires"
beneath the incredulous eyes of my mum.
She always tells me I have to lose weight.
And yes, she is right.
But the motivation has to come from myself,
not from her.

 

 

Day 6: Go Xtreme - mommy I still love you

 Made a sort of truce with my mum
while cutting her toenails. ;)
What a pedicure can do. :D
No, seriously,
the themes of self-love, self-care,
while caring for the body
(and also, trying to treat my mum lovingly)
pop up once and again.
Remembering the passing of my other grandma
(my mom's mom)
nine years ago.
Great get-together with extended family.
I manage to eat only two pretzels and only ONE piece of cake.
Proud of myself.
Paid it at home with a little bread & spread party.
:( Meh. :(

 

Day 7: loving care
Everything back to normal
(as far as is "normal" with me).
Back to work with new working gear - trousers finally fit! -
and motivated workers.
Feeling good.
Getting home late,
but still applying rose oil,
lighting candles,
lighting incense stick.
Settling to bed.


I've noticed these last days that
YES, I am applying rose oil to an obese body.
But behind, beyond,
or somewhere very deep inside this massive body,
is a beautiful creature that wants to come out.
A beautiful creature.

A beautiful little queen,
that deserves to be honored...
... by anointment with rose oil.

 

 



Fourth challenge:

 

SUCCESS