Exiting the comfort zone

Hello all!

 

 

I am so sorry I haven't written for so long.

I was feeling rather low, without energy for nothing.

And Easter was in between with all its delicacies. My weight went up, and this demotivated me lots.

 

Now.

I am again at exactly 105kg (231.77 lb), it seems I will struggle with the "little-bit-above-230" for a while longer...

But then. I am well aware what I have to do to lose this weight.

 

 

I am in the support group for obese people, had our second meeting today and I am really getting a huge shot of motivation from the other women.

And I signed up for the fitness center, and have gone training three times 'til now, looking forward to my next personal training appointment on Wednesday.

Workout Wednesday it is!!

 

 

 

Last week I was on morning shift, so I went to the fitness center in the afternoons/evenings... and it was costing quite an effort to get up from the comfy warm bed after the siesta and go training...

 

But this is it:

for good results,

we have to exit our comfort zone...

 

 

 

 

Nobody said this will be an easy path...

but it is the only one we want to walk...

to get to the top...

to be free of our uncontrolled eating...

to be fit and toned...

to be healthy...

to feel good...

 

 

 

So tomorrow for a long walk, and Wednesday to workout...

 

 

Have a wonderful night (here it is 21:50)... sleep well dear readers!

And tomorrow, to get up with a good shot of energy and motivation to exit your comfort zone and GO BEYOND...

Let the sunshine light you up...

Hello all on this wonderfully sunny morning!

 

 

Had my first training today... feeling gooooooooooood!

 

Weight is down to 104,3kg this morning (229.15 lb), whoo hoo!

 

Bought pineapple for this week's fruit shot =) and prepared celery and carrot sticks to dip in hummus, to take to work later.

 

 

 

This sunshine is really lifting up my mood!

If the sun is out where you are, go outside and enjoy it...

breathe in the sunshine, let it light you up!

(Avril Lavigne - "Sippin' on Sunshine")

 

 

 

Have a sunny, happy day!

A fresh start

 

Hello all!

 

 

 

Wow, what a busy day it has been for me.

And a wonderful one.

Truly beautiful, energetic, happy.

Wish all days could be like this...

 

 

 

But first things first.

 

For all of you wishing me lots of energy for the heavy shift - THANK YOU.

It went by like a breeze!

 

All throughout work (to be honest, the thought had been on my mind for a few days yet), I was thinking about whether to sign up for a fitness center. I had been to one years ago, but wasn't constant and fell back into old bad eating habits very soon, making the training useless, so I also stopped going. Of course, not going to training, the money I paid for the gym was wasted, wasted, wasted. And I don't want that to happen again. If I invest in that, I thought, I have to commit to really do it. Til the end, and even if I have reached my goal, to keep the muscles toned.

 

So I was turning over that idea in my head...

 

 

Then at 18:30, I had the first meeting of the support group for overeaters.

IT WAS GREAT!!!

So nice people there, and the counselor is a wonderful woman.

 

 

To start, we did a short meditation, to center ourselves where we are.

Then she made us select pictures - small postcards - that lay sprawled on the floor in the center of the room, and explain how we feel and why we chose that image. (I had a butterfly on fresh green ground - I want to reach the lightness and carefree way of being. To which the counselor said: "But it can still move many things, with only a short quiver of the wings.").

Afterwards she introduced us to the Food Diary. We should keep one. Ouf! I hate food diaries. But here goes:

 

Today:

 

10:30 two bread rolls with hummus (chick pea puré)

15:30 another bread roll with hummus, and four small cookies

18:15 an apple

22:30 sixteen rather small avocado maki, a portion of pineapple with palm sugar and half a liter of lychee green tea

 

Exercise: walking 40 minutes

 

 

I know I ate little today, but I truly didn't feel hungry, the energy and positive feeling of the day kept me satisfied. And now (23:23 in my country) I'm still very full from the maki.

 

 

Back to the group meeting. We talked about psychic causes of overeating and compared the ups and downs of our weight to the ups and downs in our life so far.

Afterwards we got a sheet with a lot of different smilies, to go through them and define which feeling makes us want to eat.

 

After a good hour went by with the tasks above described, we talked a bit more about our personal life and especially, about exercise and why we often "don't feel like it". I actually love "working out" (ha, ha - it's fun) with the Wii. And I often enjoy my long walks, especially peaceful walks through the woods.

 

When the group was over, my decision was clear. I would go to the fitness center nearest to my home and ask how much the sign up costs.

 

 

So I went to the fitness center, and a very likeable, friendly girl explained to me the system they have for personalized training. I was very thrilled... and after an hour and a half of talking about my fitness goals and how to best train for them (and a detailed tour through the center), I SIGNED UP.

Whoo-hoo!!! Here I go!

 

On Wednesday morning I have my first training, and on Friday a health check they do in the center.

And then to lose those pounds and shape up that body!!

 

 

 

 

 

Putting lots of seeds of hope into this... and energy to make them grow into a strong, prosperous tree!

 

 

 

Hope you had a good day too!

All the best for tomorrow!

Sleep well!

 

xoxo Kirancilla

 

 

A wonderful weekend

 

Hello all!

How did your weekend go?

I hope you spent it very well.

 

 

 

Mine was really wonderful.

Although on Friday I only got home from work and fell right into bed, to sleep 'til Saturday 10 a.m., the rest of the weekend was pretty damn good!

On Saturday I felt a little depressed again, but rather bored, didn't quite know what to do with myself at home... so I called a friend to come over and watch a DVD ("Chennai Express", Bollywood comedy with Shah Rukh Khan). She liked it a lot, it was quite funny! And just on the spot she invited me to accompany her and two others to the cinema in the evening, to watch "NOAH".

Such a wonderful movie! I definitely recommend!!!

 

Today Sunday, I slept to my heart's content (Sunday - pajama day ;)), then went to a friend's house to play cards and later table tennis for a while. We then prepared a big bowl of salad together and had it together with bread and cream cheese. Although I'm veggie, I've never been a great salad lover, but I'm growing into it, thanks to that friend who always makes salad when I'm over :D :D thank you Ursi!!!

 

 

Tomorrow I will work a heavy shift (8 a.m. to 17:30, with only 2x15 min. pause), but it's necessary, as I would have late shift, but have arranged this heavy shift with my boss every second Monday - to attend a self-help group for overeaters.

 I'll tell you later how my first meeting with this support group went!

 

 

My weight is still not as low as I'd like it to be at these heights of the passing year :( I'm stuck at 105,4kg (232.5 lbs). My initial goal was to be down at 103kg (227 lbs) by end of april, to go for <100 kg (220 lbs) in may.

Seems like I was much too ambitious. But I'll do what I can...

 

 

 

Effort and patience...

 

 

 

 

Have a good rest weekend and a wonderful start into the new week!

Fighting the night demon

Hello all on Workout Wednesday!

Did you do some exercise today?

 

I did - went walking (2:15 hours total), plus exercises with the Wii Fit Balance Board (47 minutes, netting 250 burnt calories, according to Wii).

 

 

My weight is up again a bit due to the last traces of depression, thus lack of moving myself the last days (today I picked myself up and said "gal, you do somethin'!"), and nighttime bingeing.

 

 

 

 

Do you know the Night Demon?

It is that little sly and vicious voice that comes approaching you at night, when you are already about to sleep, telling you "hey, I know you are a little hungry... let's go to the kitchen and have just a tiny slice of bread with Nutella..." - and of course, you cannot do anything but give in. And of course it doesn't stay with the one slice of bread, but you find an excuse to stay seated (in the end, you ARE tired) and keep stuffing yourself... until, stuffed to the brim, you go to bed. And sleep in feeling full of guilt and self-hate.

 

 

What to do against the Night Demon?

I was given the advice to find out the reason why it comes:

Are you truly hungry (because you had too little food during the day, and especially, no proper dinner), or are you restless (from the happenings of the day), and turning to food to help you "ground yourself"?

 

For the first, there is an easy solution: Plan a small before-nighttime meal you eat some three hours before bedtime. Calories enough to keep you satisfied.

 

For the second, my counselor recommends relaxation by autogenic training. Go through every part of your body and relax them one after the other. Linger on the parts that feel most tense - the jaw, for example. Open and close it maybe, gnaw a little, then let it fall down relaxed. Relax your stomach and lower belly, and also all the other parts of your body.

 

You can meditate or say a phrase that comforts you.

Peace and inner calm...

 

 

Because only good things should see you tonight...

(Scotty McCreery - "See you tonight")

 

 

 

 

Want a lullaby?

Here is a sweet Spanish "nana":

(La Oreja de Van Gogh - "Historia de un sueño")

 

 

 

 

Sleep well...

 

In love with good food

Hi all!

 

 

 

I am very well on this splendid spring morning.

Already been for a 45 minutes walk in the sunshine - felt very good.

Weight is at 105,1kg (131.11 lb).

 

Yesterday I had broccoli with almond cream sauce for midday meal, and zucchini with breadcrumbs for dinner. Breakfast today and yesterday had been a bread roll with nougat spread - can't take away my nougat from me ;) - and today I will later have tortillas with a filling of tofu and bell peppers and some other veggies left over...

 

 

I am falling in love with good food... healthy food... which is good for me.

 

Because until lately, I rather had an obsessive relationship with "bad", unhealthy food, that didn't make me feel as energetic and happy (yes!) as good food does.

It rather made me feel sluggish and tired.

Believe me when I tell you, my "belly feeling" now is much better!

 

I am trying to re-learn love and gratitude that food is there to nourish and sustain me...

 

 

And for this, I have to learn to love foods that love me back.

Fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts, ...

 

 

 

Instead of THIS...

 

 

 

 

 

... try THIS:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Enjoy your daily apple ;)

 

 

 

Have a wonderful day!

 (Melanie C - "First day of my life")

 

Beat depression

Hello all!

 

 

 

I am sorry I haven't written sooner.

I was feeling pretty low, had a depressive phase, as I told you...

I am a little better now, taking medication (antidepressant Wellbutrin).

 

 

My weight is a little up, at 105,4kg (232.58 lb), but I know that with eating well this weekend, I will be back down at <105 kg very soon.

 

 

Beating depression can be very hard.

 

I've been living with this recurring demon for years.

 

Feeling the weight of a nonfinite sadness weigh you down... it cannot be described if you never felt it.

 

You never want to get up from the bed - why should you?

 

You only want to sleep, to die, to forget everything...

 

 

 

But, my friends:

 

 

 

 

Make happiness your life project!

 

(Pharrell Williams - "Happy", lyric video feat. Minions)

 

 

 

 

Practice simple shoulder rolls as often as you can,

to get the burden off them.

 

 

 

And:

 

Take time to meet your friends.

Let them cheer you up.

 

 

 

 

 

Be yourself, even if that means some people won't "like" you that much

- THEY don't matter in YOUR life, anyway.

 

 

 

Think that even if life seems dark right now

(dark? with all this wonderful spring sunlight?

get out and enjoy the sun!)

- the Light is there.

And you will reach it in the end.

 

 

 

 

For some,

their belief in a bigger force

will make a huge difference: 

 

 

 

 

 

And always remember:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Found this beautiful pic

(with a very wise Maya Angelou quote)

on my Facebook:

 

 

 

 

 

 

McDonald's and me - NO supersize

Hello!

 

 

 

Sorry I haven't written for so long.

I was not feeling well, had a depressive phase that lasted til Sunday, reaching its climax on Saturday when I spent the whole day in bed, not wanting to get out, ever. On Sunday my best friend picked me up and almost forced me to a walk where we talked a lot.

 

She told me I was looking old and tarnished, like I was not getting enough nutrients, and that she thought this all was because of my vegan diet... she asked me "what if, for your own health, you eat a bit of 'normal' food every now and then? You can still say a silent 'thank you' to the animals..."

 

Then she had her husband take us to McDonald's.

Yes, you read right.

McDonald's.

The place no vegan would ever enter.

 

And I had a McChicken and another burger with chicken and bacon.

And - why should I lie to you? - it tasted good.

 

 

Yesterday I went to the community house where I have lived before and told them that I was feeling overwhelmed by the thought of having to cook for myself every day, that I didn't know how to balance my diet. They offered I come eat at the community kitchen every day, there is a vegetarian meal, but I can also have meat when I feel like it.

 

 

So, this is resolved.

 

 

I am sorry, my vegan friends.

But my own health is first, and I really feel better now as flexitarian.

 

I might very well go back to vegan,

but only after I know how to balance the nutrients,

and not only eat bread and spread day after day.

Because this might be vegan,

but it's not healthy.

 

 

A "normal", healthy diet will be mine from now on.

 

And a daily walk of at least half an hour.

 

 

 

Ok, gotta go. See you here soon.