Chrysalis: The "Loving touches" week

Sorry,

late update...

The fourth element of the Ornish program is

Love and Support.

I have lots of support,

but I sometimes lack self-love.

So after

the "an apple a day" week,

the "get going" week,

and the "shut off" week,

this week (I am counting Tuesday to Tuesday)

will be all about

"loving touches".

The first thing I did was

buy a nice rose oil.

I will apply that to my massive body every day,

trying to do it as lovingly as I can.

Forgive this body what I think it has done to me,

and in reality I did to it!

Massaging rose oil into my body is a way of

making a truce with myself.

I will also try this week to make as much loving contact with other people as possible

- especially my mum with whom I have a rather troubled relationship.

Reports:

Day 1: smell of roses

Mmm, rose oil.

Smells so good.

Does my obese body even deserve such a treat?

Feels wonderful.

Leaves my skin so smooth.

Day 2: no love

I overate today.

And I forgot about the rose oil.

Or maybe,

my subconscious wouldn't allow myself rose oil

after misbehaving so bad.

Day 3: apologize

I'm a bit better.

Returning to rose oil anointment.

Feeling like a queen,

smelling of roses.

Day 4: having fun means loving oneself

I had planned to

"Go Xtreme" today,

with a big bubble bath

and face mask

and all that comes with it.

But actually,

I don't want to take time for that today.

What I want is to have a quick shower

and then go play my videogame.

So I shower, apply rose oil - mmm - ,

and GO PLAY.

Day 5: treating myself well

Woke up earlier than the alarm today.

(It's Saturday, and I've been on morning shift this week.

Talk about the inner clock.)

Wrote blog entries.

Looked forward to the daily loving treat to myself.
Went to my parent's home.
Applied rose oil to my "tires"
beneath the incredulous eyes of my mum.
She always tells me I have to lose weight.
And yes, she is right.
But the motivation has to come from myself,
not from her.

Day 6: Go Xtreme - mommy I still love you

Made a sort of truce with my mum
while cutting her toenails. ;)
What a pedicure can do. :D
No, seriously,
the themes of self-love, self-care,
while caring for the body
(and also, trying to treat my mum lovingly)
pop up once and again.
Remembering the passing of my other grandma
(my mom's mom)
nine years ago.
Great get-together with extended family.
I manage to eat only two pretzels and only ONE piece of cake.
Proud of myself.
Paid it at home with a little bread & spread party.
:( Meh. :(

Day 7: loving care
Everything back to normal
(as far as is "normal" with me).
Back to work with new working gear - trousers finally fit! -
and motivated workers.
Feeling good.
Getting home late,
but still applying rose oil,
lighting candles,
lighting incense stick.
Settling to bed.

I've noticed these last days that
YES, I am applying rose oil to an obese body.
But behind, beyond,
or somewhere very deep inside this massive body,
is a beautiful creature that wants to come out.
A beautiful creature.

A beautiful little queen,
that deserves to be honored...
... by anointment with rose oil.