Friends and family time

 

 

 

Hello all!

TGIF!

How are you feeling today?

 

 

 

Not much news from my part; weight stays stuck

(need to make a food plan)

(and an exercise plan)

(and a life plan)

;)

 

Will keep you updated if there is any major change.

 

 

 

This weekend will be a "friends and family time" one...

 

Tomorrow I'm meeting an "old" (ha, ha - 28 years we both are) friend from waaaaaaaaaay back into my teenage years... we lost contact for a long time after I moved away for college, but we re-encountered some year ago and since then, try to keep the contact as close as possible. It was her birthday not long ago, so I am really looking forward to giving her my present and spending time with her.

 

Later, I will go to meet my aunt - my godmother - , who really is like a second mother to me!

She took me as foster child for a summer when I ran away from home (I returned, after a lot of discussion and setting new rules and limits).

 

 

Then on Sunday, I will go to visit my original family.

It is a visit I both look forward to and fear.

We have been having trouble with each other a lot in the past.

The edges have softened with time, but we still get into fighting pretty soon

(I remember a very ugly scene only two days after Christmas...)

 

But I hope to see my father, who is rather ill all the time since many years.

It is Father's Day in my country on Sunday.

I truly love my father, although he doesn't quite know how to respond to this love...

 

I have an ambivalent relationship with my mother.

She was the person I most hated in my youth.

But I guess this just had to do with my self-differentiation... at that time, I still didn't know exactly what women I would be (do I know now?),

I only knew that I wanted to be different than her.

Nowadays, I can see her as the person she is - desperately craving for love and understanding while at the same time shoving everybody away that comes too close.

 

I have a very cool act around both my brothers... as long as we don't get into each other's way, everything's fine. We clashed a lot in the past. Nowadays, we just try not to meet. ;)

 

My sister is the only one I really get along well - she was extremely chaotic when she was younger, but I love her fresh, carefree, energetic take on life. She is the one that keeps me connected to my family, kind of "okay, if I could do without all of them, but I would still want to have contact with my sis."

 

 

 

As Mimi O'Connor said on "Feel the Love"

(the Ornish Spectrum Site)

here: http://feelthelove.ornishspectrum.com/post/538884cbd429f886078b57c9

"Our friends are our chosen family..."

 

 

 

I am sooooo glad to have such a great "chosen family"...

I love you all, my friends...

 

 

 

 

A hug to all of you reading me!

Thank you so much!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



These shoes are made for walking

 

 

 

Hello all!

 

 

 

I am sorry for letting so much time pass between my posts...

 

 

 

 

Weight is 105,3kg (232.23 lb) still... seems to be my magical number.

Never getting past it...

Let's see what I can do...

 

 

 

 

Last Saturday, I participated in a "Women's Run against Breast Cancer" event...

not running, but WALKING...

5 km walk in 48 minutes, I am pretty proud of myself!

 

 

And so today you get to see a pic of me... well, of part of my leg and my walking shoe:

(very bad pic, I admit...)

 

 

Thanks to my walking shoes...

 

 

(Nancy Sinatra - "These boots are made for walking")

 

 

 

Let the walk continue...

walking towards a happier, fitter, more vital me...

 

 

 

Have a wonderful day!

 

 



You ARE beautiful

 

 

Hello all!

 

 

 

 

 

I'm feeling bad, weight-wise.

I am up to 106,0 kg (233.11 lb) again.

This can't go on.

 

I need to stop eating so much.

 

 

 

 

But still... my boyfriend loves me no less.

Thing that surprises me a lot.

How can he love me, even if I don't (at least, not always)?

 

 

 

 

Let me tell you something that no one ever tells fat girls.

And it is that fat girls fuck awesome guys ALL THE TIME.

Your weight has absolutely nothing to do with your attractiveness.

Because that comes from within.

 

 

Your guy shouldn't (and doesn't) love you "DESPITE" your weight.

He loves you WITH your weight.

 

 

This is a plus-size model lots of guys would die to have something with:

(Kelly Brook)

 

Isn't she beautiful?

 

 

 

 

 

 

So - let go of your complexes and just let them love you.

All of you.

 

(John Legend - "All of me")

 

 

Have a wonderful evening.

 

 



With a little help from my friends

Hello all!

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry for not having written for so long.

Was busy and, well, depressed, and not doing good on my diet, nor exercise this past week...

 

But today, my best friend wanted to come over in the afternoon to meet me, so one hour before she comes, I finally rise from bed (was sleeping and slacking around all weekend) and tidy up my room a bit... oh, I think it smells a bit moldy. Let's open the window and let some fresh air come in. Wow, look, sunshine outside!!! When did the sun come out? It has been raining all last week...

 

My friend comes, we talk, she puts my head back in order. We go outside for a good walk, to fetch her husband from work, and have a coffee. Afterwards, I continue the walk, for quite a long time. Feels so good to be back walking. I've been missing some exercise.

 

 

Thank you two for picking me up today!!!

I really needed it a lot!!!

(The Beatles - "With a little help from my friends")

 

 

Tomorrow work, appointment with Alice (my diet counselor), and time for a good walk in the evening.

 

Looking forward to a sunny, happy day.

 

 

 

Okay, so I had a shitty day

Hello all...

 

 

 

Yesterday I experienced what all of us got some days of our life...

just a real shitty day.

 

 

Getting up, getting on the scale, and seeing you haven't lost anything, even maybe went up with your weight (I was at 105 kg - almost 232 lb - again yesterday)...

 

Getting desmotivated...

 

Then getting out, with maybe bad weather...

 

Have adversities at work...

 

 

And maybe you'll feel like "what's it all for?"

 

 

 

 

But for me, yesterday, after I finished work (which after six hours of pure stress, turned more relaxed for the last two hours - and after all, it was Friday, weekend coming, yeah!):

there were small apple pies with vanilla sauce prepared at the place where I eat during the week... =)

 

 

And I could get home (the weather still bad) and cuddle into my bed... and just shut the world out for a few hours.

 

And in the evening, there was talking to my sweetie... love you... <3

 

 

So the shitty day slowly became "less shitty" and even somehow good...

 

Even if the weight is still up (only lost 100 grams), hey, I will lose in the end if I keep dieting and exercising... and there are more important things than your weight... so:

 

Would you let the scale ruin your day?

 

Come on!

 

 

Have a great Saturday!

 

I continue

Hello all!

Here I am again!

 

 

 

The reason I haven't written for so long is, number one, I was very busy

- and number two, I felt bad.

I felt like the anti-example, because I didn't lose weight, because I ate too much (faaaaar too much), and couldn't control my appetite around certain foods.

How is such a person going to lead a weight loss blog?

 

Well then.

I am not a leader, nor you should see me as one.

I'm your fellow, your comrade-in-arms.

 

 

 

My weight is 104,4kg (230.26 lb) today.

Which is frustrating - it seems I never get past this 104 barrier for longer than a day or two.

 

 

But let's look at my measures, because I HAVE changed.

 

I last took my measures on 8th of march, so it's been two months for all this change:

Waist: 119 cm to 113 cm (- 6 cm, yes!)

Hips: 134 cm to 128 cm (- 6 cm, yessss!!)

Thighs: 77 cm to 73 cm (- 4 cm, good!)

Calfs: 43 cm to 44 cm (+ 1 cm, no idea why)

Breast: 120 cm to 117 cm (- 3 cm, don't mind)

Biceps: 37 cm to 41 cm (+ 4 cm, again no idea why)

Fatass: 134 cm to 126 cm (- 8 cm, YEAH!!!! I rock!)

 

See? See?!?

 

There IS change.

In my body, and in my mind.

I am not the same person today as I was back in January, when I started losing, nor like in February, when I started this blog.

I am a little bit stronger, with a little bit more understanding of my inner workings, my cravings and my needs, and what it is that triggers food hell, and what to do to rescue myself before falling.

 

 

 

Day by day, I am learning.

Day by day, I am getting better.

 

 

This is going to be a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong journey.

(AC/DC - "Long way to the top if you want to Rock 'n' Roll")

 

 

 

 

Are you prepared to go with me?

 

 

We're gonna make it together.

Promise.

 

 

 

 

 

Under construction...

I am very busy at the moment and don't have so much time to write, but will take some time very soon to update.

 

Stay tuned - I'll be back in a short while.